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Ten Tips for Reconnecting


Being apart during deployment requires adjustment for military couples, and so does learning to be together again after homecoming. When the end of deployment is in sight, it’s wise to prepare for a time of readjustment and look for intentional ways to reconnect.

Karen Pavlicin, author of Surviving Deployment and Life After Deployment, and Corie Weathers, author of Sacred Spaces: My Journey to the Heart of Military Marriage, agree that reconnection requires willingness to move forward after deployment, rather than expecting things to go back to the way they were before deployment.

Karen and Corie offer these practical tips for reconnection after deployment:

  • Over-communicate rather than under-communicate. Be up front about hopes and expectations.
  • You will both change while you’re apart. Focus on positive change. Express pride in one another’s accomplishments and growth.
  • When planning for deployment and reintegration, remember to discuss finances and budget needs and limitations. Decide together about large purchases during and after deployment.
  • During deployment, there will be changes in family dynamics and parenting strategies. Talk about the changes that took place so you can parent as an effective team when you are back together in person.
  • Multi-sensory experiences together create memories that will last. When you are together again, plan date nights that are fun and multi-sensory: an escape room, a foodie restaurant tour, hiking or biking.
  • When deployment is over, keep your balance by maintaining individual hobbies, friendships, and even alone time.
  • If you are planning a trip together after deployment, make sure you both agree about where to go, how much to spend, and how long to be gone.
  • Decide together when to invite your parents or other family and friends to come visit after deployment. Consider taking time to reconnect as an immediate family before inviting more people to the mix.
  • Healthy habits make a difference, so eat right, get enough sleep, and exercise. You’ll both be better able to manage heightened emotions when you are healthy.
  • Be patient with yourself and your spouse as you go through this process together.

More from Karen and Corie about Reconnecting After Deployment on




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